"Shame Based Fear"

10/2007
24" X 30"
Oil on Canvas

First it should be noted that the woman in the upper left hand corner of the painting is my mother! She would not allow me a straight shot of her, due to shame based fear! My mother was always a small, thin, petite woman, even through three kids, but physical accidents and age brought about more weight than she can handle, mentally. I also suffer from the self-image glitch, I can only imagine that most women and men in our society do! What is expected of our bodies and what they naturally do just does not match up. If one is to live a balance life, you could even say these ideals are unattainable. Believe me I've tried, attainable at what cost! The man in the upper right hand corner is matched up with a chubby boys body, as if he can't see himself any other way, even as an adult. And the young boy in the front is in deep thought trying to wrap his head around the whole idea.

This painting is a statement of what we once were, what we wish we could be, what we are now, and the shame and fear associated with our body image. The amount of time put into this issue, whether physical or mental is great among most people. What I find to be the most amusing is that no matter where we are now we're not happy, and in hindsight we always should have been.

I spent about 8 hours on "Shame Based Fear" over a period of three days. This is one of my favorite paintings, the color combination along with the different skin textures is very appealing to me. The Portfolio Weekly published this painting in an article about a show I was in at Symphonic in Ghent, called Wonderment.